7 and a half things I bet you didn't know about me.

I know I'm pretty much an open book the majority of the time, however there are some things that I'm almost certain most of you won't know.

It's not because I have chosen not to share them. You know I'm not one for keeping secrets about myself.

I guess these things haven't naturally arisen. Until now.

So... without further ado, allow me to spill the beans.

1. I used to have a very corporate based sales career. I was all serious and professional and everything! I was pretty good at it too even if I do say so myself. I used to feel crazy jealous when I'd see people out running or going to the gym for work while I was busy racking up the miles driving around the country. As well as being mad into fitness, there was a massive element of wanting to help others which drove me to pack it all in, retrain as a PT and start my career over.

Plus, my last boss was a Thunder Cunt and I've heard she still is so I'm glad I got out when I did.

2. I have a daughter called Mia. She's nothing short of fucking incredible. She's smart, beautiful and ridiculously independent. I don't post her a lot on my socials to protect her privacy. She's my single only reason why I do things. We're the ultimate best friends. I simply adore her. Hi Mia.

3. I've been married and divorced. I know. I really fucking know. Let's just leave that one there. Deal?

4. The curtains don't match the rug. I'm very much a very dark brunette. Might give that another go again one day. Not gonna lie, this depicts a true representation of said rug right now. I'm on lockdown, let me live.

5. I'm an awesome cook. Some might say chef. Lets go with chef. My roast dinners are better than your mums. I've heard the way to a mans heart is through his stomach so hopefully the next one sticks around and wants to try my roasties with all the trimmings. Le boeuf for the win.

6. I once got caught having sex in a car by the police. It was a very long time ago and I'm not proud of it. Well I'm maybe a little proud that I didn't get arrested. They saw the funny side of things and allowed me to get dressed in the car, harnessing what very little dignity I had left. It was a fucking shit show.

7. The above reason isn't why this next point is true by the way. Just putting that out there to avoid confusion. I was celibate for over two years until I broke it last summer. I didn't set out with the intention to purposefully not have sex anymore. I was just working on myself to begin with and before I knew it, I hadn't had sex in years. It was quite empowering actually, so I decided to wait until I met someone worth sleeping with for the first time again.

Little did I know I'd be forced into celibacy once again through no fault of my own...

Post Corona fucker-roo just might be on the cards.

The half. (You'll see why its half).

My left nipple is slightly less sensitive compared to my right. After having a tiddy job after Mia was born, my left nipple never regained full consciousness. Very sad indeed. On a plus note, my right one works just fine, and actually, is probably a little extra sensitive.

So there you have it. A few more things to muse over. Imagine what you still don't know...

Peace and love,

Louise x