Quarantine Cunt.

What is it? How to tell if you're being one, and how to handle other cunts around you.

Yes, I said other. Because chances are, you're unsuspectingly being one.

Ok, ok. I know it sounds harsh, but it's not bad news.

Before you come at me, I'm not entirely suggesting that being a Quarantine Cunt is a bad thing. Heck I've fallen foul of this pesky problem personally myself.

So what is it exactly?

Why don't I start at the beginning by drawing on my own quarantine experiences to try to help you understand where I'm coming from.

The first thoughts that spring to my mind are the ones that I'm almost certain will resonate with a lot of other people.

I've allowed myself to falsely convince my own mind that this is in fact some sort off all inclusive holiday where day drinking is acceptable, surplus carbs don't count, and how I can leave that at home "HIIT" session till tomorrow.

I then super quickly follow the above with what I can only describe as instant regret.

I punish myself with self-hatred and force myself to instantaneously feel guilty about all of the above, after almost immediately partaking in any of the frowned upon frivolities. Wait. Who said they were frowned upon??

ME!! I did. To myself. Wow.

What a head fuck. Even to myself.

Let's just pause it there for a second. I've somehow found myself trying to explain to you how this punish/reward/punishment system works in my head. I've invited you to share some of my weirdest thought processes at this very bizarre moment in history. Without living through this tumultuous time, I wouldn't actually be writing to you at all, describing to you how I'm also finding it a little difficult to comprehend what's going on in life. I'm not playing games with myself again here to make myself feel better when I say this, but I can guarantee you I know I'm not the only one having thoughts like this.

And do you know what? Considering that the majority of us are living through what we can definitely describe as a modern day war, all of the above is actually rather normal. It's ok that we don't know how to think, feel, move, sleep, eat, work, grocery shop, train, socialise, connect, establish a routine, stay safe, stay sane.

One thing that I personally feel is not ok, is someone else TELLING you how you should be thinking, living, eating, exercising, breathing, learning, sleeping, connecting, feeling, creating.

Creating. That's a funny one, isn't it?? I've seen this word crop up a lot recently and while it's bloody brilliant in itself, we need to remember that not everyone is creative by nature...

QUEUE THE CREATIVE QUARANTINE CUNTS...

and the Neil Buchanan's of the world.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being creative in your own right. And to those creative people with time on their hands right now; enjoy every single fucking spare second you have to create your tits off. But for the love of fuck, can you stop imposing your so-called creative "words of wisdom" onto the non-creative people of the world? You're making them feel inferior to you for not knowing how to spend all off this suddenly bestowed amazing care-free creative playground that we've all been given. Not being creative is NOT the same as being lazy. So stop comparing it.

The logical, methodical, and practical types very much so deserve to hold and harbour the fish out of water feeling right now, and they should not be made to feel like they are wasting precious time by not learning a new skill, language, art, or paint by pissing numbers. It's not for everyone.

On that note, to anyone who is struggling with the fish out of water feeling, can you recall a time where you wished for Friday, wished for Summer, wished for a long weekend, wished to work part time, wished to read a book, wished to see your partner/kids more. Wished you knew who what binge watching a box set meant, wished for a lay in.

It's that old cliché isn't it? be careful what you wish for. I'm not single handedly blaming anyone here for the situation we have found ourselves in, however, I know I've definitely wished my life away on an occasion or two. WE ALL HAVE.

What we're going through right now is beyond testing. I'll be the first to admit it. But I am 99% certain that in a few months' time, when this is all a thing of the past,

we will ever so slightly miss this very odd

pause button that has been pressed on the world.

I don't know how you feel about that, I'm not even sure how I feel about it myself. I am in fact after all, a self proclaimed Quarantine Cunt.

I miss my family so much it fucking hurts like the bitch it is. I miss my old routine. I miss the gym. I miss my business. I miss socialising. I miss my life. I miss the freedom I definitely took for granted, and I miss the very stupid pathetic menial things. I miss working in cafes, I miss getting my hair done (full on brunette pending), I miss driving my car on 'proper' drives to anywhere but the supermarket. I miss eating at restaurants. I miss going on dates. All very valid quarantine cunt points.

But nothing tops this;

I am grateful for mine and my families health to the point where it surpasses all off the above points combined. I would stay in gladly for the rest of the year if need be to make sure the people we love the most are kept safe.

Ok, so round about now, I'm gathering that you're understanding what I'm trying to point out here? Let me sum up a little to help you out.

If you think you are a quarantine cunt in any form, that's ok. Recognise your feelings and try to process how you're trying to justify your actions/reasons for behaving the way you are. There is no right or wrong answer by the way. But the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to stop comparing your situation to others. We are all experiencing this for the first time, at the same time.

I've found over the past couple of days that I've naturally been searching for a new routine, with new goals, but with less expectations on myself. For example, I no longer feel like I have to write a blog every single bastard day. The truth is, I'm not getting myself in as much trouble as I normally do, thus, leaving me less to write about. So without a doubt, two blogs per week, plus all my social shiz, and emails etc is more than enough to try and juggle right now.

What I'm also doing for my peace of mind, is limiting how much news I am watching. I check in obvs, but I am no longer obsessing with the state of affairs. I'm quite the empath, which means I very easily take on the hurt/bad feelings of what's going on around me, so I gotta protect myself here!!

Socially, I don't take part in any chain messages, IG/social challenges (push up challenges etc) because they're just not for me. Some people do really well with those kinds of collaborative cunty quarantine stuff, but it's just not my style. Side note; if it's not for you too, don't feel shy to say no y'know?? Equally, if you wanna take part, or hell, even wanna start a new one, fucking go for it!! (Just don't nominate me...)

In a nutshell, we're all different. Free time more than anything highlights to us all how we cherish our time, and how we choose to spend it. As a nation, (or world for that matter!) we need to get better at learning that what is best for us is defo not best for someone else, and what is best for them, is defo not for you.

While we're all in this together, we're also in it for ourselves. So just be that little kinder to that heart and mind of yours yeah?

How to deal with it;

Respect others and be judgement free of them. It's not your business.

Respect yourself, and be judgement free to yourself too. It's entirely your business.

Peace and love.

Louise x

PS, stay home. It's that simple.